Well, I hate to bring this back up but I just wanted to put my thoughts down.  Let me remind anyone that this is just my opinion and I am not one of those who thinks just because I say something that is the end all be all.  But if you get all bent out of shape anyway over my opinion on this issue I'm not going to care but as always comments are welcome.

Why can't black women get married?  Why can't black women find a man? Or however the question is phrased is just so sad to me.  And it's not because of the question itself but why is this debate so paramount?  Aren't there more critical issues afflicting us than that? 

I see it like this.  You could be Miss Dream Woman lacking whatever ills proclaimed to be 'wrong' with us as a whole but it won't change the fact that for the most part we are just simply not desired.  Maybe to do some booty shaking in a rap video or the various bachelor/fraternity parties but as the wife, the showpiece, no.  Now, the white, Chinese, Latina, etc., or the Beyonce/Alicia Keys version of you has significantly increased chances of snagging this seemingly so distinct honor of being chosen by a man.  But if you're just the normal, average, beautiful black woman, like me, you are the last to even be considered.   So to me all these moneyed reasons of why so many of us are single--we're too picky ... yak, yak, yak, blah, blah, blah are complete bullsh**.  It's not that deep.

If it's that important one can always strap on a tool belt and invest in a 'fixer-upper' man.  Do a complete remodel on him, inside and out, which I keep hearing is supposedly a legitimate solution to our alleged lonely curse.  But just be mindful that after you help get your 'fixer-upper' man together, one day when the white, Chinese, Latina, etc., Beyonce/Alicia Keys version of you steps to him with desirous intentions ... some day you'll call him on his cell phone that you're paying for and he'll answer sounding all funny ...

I hear myself saying all the time that maybe I'm just too old for all this.  I just don't have the energy therefore I don't care.  But I'm thinking my lack of concern comes more from my approach to a milestone age.  I think about the end of life and how my soul will be judged.  And I don't believe that being chosen to be some man's mate is my ticket to any eternal bliss.