Is the ambiguous concept of Personhood another shady, male-dominating attempt to strip away a natural power given to women?

Do the powers that be, men, really care if life starts at conception?

Should those that many times pick abandonment above fatherhood be allowed to revoke the monumental right of women to choose?

No.  It should not be allowed by a man’s hands or any other anti-choice hand.  Those who are anti-choice force a one-sided view ignoring the fact there is a valid sentient being, a woman, on the other side.  A valid sentient being that would be allowed to die under the Protect Life Act which, as uncaring and catastrophic as this measure is, would be given acceptable strength if such craftily vague measures as Personhood were to pass into law.

If women allow their right to choose to be revoked then the groundwork will be laid to have more of our rights and powers to be legislated away.  The right to use birth control is the next obvious choice hence the crafty vagueness of Personhood.  In some historically oppressive way the two issues will highly likely be connected which will lead to the eventual outlawing of birth control.  Another phenomenal right of women left open for revocation is the right to be visible as a human being and not merely a servant vessel to nurture masculine acts of so-called love, pleasure, and rape.  Essentially, that is what this ill-conceived concept of Personhood is suggesting--once a woman is pregnant she is invisible. 

I personally am not for the actual act of abortion.  I don’t think anyone actually is.  I am pro the preservation of the right of a woman to choose.  I am pro the right of a woman to be seen as a human being.

Why can't black women get married?  Why can't black women find a man? Or however the question is phrased is just so sad to me.  And it's not because of the question itself but why is this debate so paramount?  Aren't there more critical issues afflicting us than that? 

I see it like this.  You could be Miss Dream Woman lacking whatever ills proclaimed to be 'wrong' with us as a whole but it won't change the fact that for the most part we are just simply not desired.  Maybe to do some booty shaking in a rap video or the various bachelor/fraternity parties but as the wife, the showpiece, no.  Now, the white, Chinese, Latina, etc., or the Beyonce/Alicia Keys version of you has significantly increased chances of snagging this seemingly so distinct honor of being chosen by a man.  But if you're just the normal, average, beautiful black woman, like me, you are the last to even be considered.   So to me all these moneyed reasons of why so many of us are single--we're too picky ... yak, yak, yak, blah, blah, blah are complete bullsh**.  It's not that deep.

If it's that important one can always strap on a tool belt and invest in a 'fixer-upper' man.  Do a complete remodel on him, inside and out, which I keep hearing is supposedly a legitimate solution to our alleged lonely curse.  But just be mindful that after you help get your 'fixer-upper' man together, one day when the white, Chinese, Latina, etc., Beyonce/Alicia Keys version of you steps to him with desirous intentions ... some day you'll call him on his cell phone that you're paying for and he'll answer sounding all funny ...

I hear myself saying all the time that maybe I'm just too old for all this.  I just don't have the energy therefore I don't care.  But I'm thinking my lack of concern comes more from my approach to a milestone age.  I think about the end of life and how my soul will be judged.  And I don't believe that being chosen to be some man's mate is my ticket to any eternal bliss.

There was an incident of hazing (how it was originally tagged) in a wealthy area of Indianapolis that got me thinking on this still lingering absurd belief that boys are easier to raise. A group of male senior athletes boarded a bus filled with male freshman athletes and proceeded to "haze" some of the freshmen by pulling down their pants and inserting their fingers into the freshmen's backsides. So then out of curiosity I searched for fraternity hazing on the internet and these websites came up with these perverse, sexually oriented incidents of hazing between male frat members and male pledges which were recorded and put on the internet. And these incidences were recorded in front of fascinated all-male crowds. What in the hell is this sh--? Now I don’t know if these events are authentic and I’m not going to check but to me even if they aren’t the idea of this has to be based on some element of reality as in the high-school seniors incident. Is this what people mean when they say “boys are going to be boys” or “let boys be boys?” If it is then that idea is incredibly wrong and spectacularly sickening.

This belief that boys are easier to raise allows for parents to give males little to no guidance about anything. Apparently that piece of meat hanging between their legs has some magical powers that bestows the knowledge they’ll need to figure it all out. But what I’m seeing is this belief leads to the growth of these--beasts. These insecure, irresponsible, lying, lazy, violent, perverted beasts.

I understand that incidences like these may have been ignited by some abuse the perpetrators have suffered which is tragic and another sickening issue. But other times it is an expression of repression. When it’s appropriate, I would make it perfectly clear to my son (or daughter in my case) that it is paramount for him to truly get to know himself and if he concludes he is gay then he needs to be that openly because if he doesn’t then his frustrations will manifest themselves in some perverse way which will lead to an array of negative consequences such as jail time and me beating the crap out of him. No, I really wouldn’t do that but I would seriously consider it. Anyway, before I would allow my disappointment of the gay news to show and suffer through my first bout of not speaking to him, I would cement into his head that I will always be his fiercest protector and that he will still control his urges as human beings do; with respect for himself and others. I would cement into his head that he is a human being and not a beast.

Constantly I hear the there’s-no-good-men-out-there cry and incessant complaints about the oppressive nature of masculine rule but then in the next breath I’ll hear, “I’m so glad I had a son cause boys are so much easier to raise.” What? I’m betting that was the very thought of parents of sons with labels of rapist, domestic abuser, career criminal, gang banger, serial killer, thief ... willfully unemployed just to name a few. And let us not forget to consider the upbringing of the masculine commanders of all the historical human-to-human atrocities that have been committed.

Well, then again maybe I should just relax and have faith in the magical powers of that dangling masculine meat. Have faith that collectively they will wield their magic and correct these sorts of ills affecting males bringing an unending peace to humanity. Now excuse me while I slip on my ruby slippers, click my heels three times, and wish myself to the end of a rainbow to collect my pot of gold.

So I had to think on this court martial for getting pregnant issue. First, if it isn't already, all forms/brands of birth control and all other complementary medical services should be absolutely free for all military personnel. So, that will eliminate one excuse and prevent this military decision from appearing so cold and controlling.

Second I read an opinion arguing the point that this decision is a form of reproductive enslavement of which I don't agree. If you read the original article that I read it emphasized the fact that women with skills are being lost leaving an unexpected void in their ranks during a time of combat. The military has every right to expect those who have enlisted, taking that sincere oath to serve their country, to fulfill their military obligations first. By taking that oath and those paychecks these soldiers are agreeing to place their responsibility of service above certain other personal needs and wants. Getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant especially during a time of combat is breaking that oath and having a working womb does not grant immunity to the sworn duty to carry out that oath or to the consequences of breaking that oath.

I remember some time ago reading about a college's discontent over the fact that many of their female athletes on scholarship were becoming pregnant and the backlash this school received from some women's groups for the open resentment of these athletes. Once those girls took those scholarships they were agreeing to place their obligation to fulfill the requirements of their scholarships above the need, at the least, to engage in activities that would result in pregnancy. But no, some chose to get pregnant so the school lost money and a key position player on a team.  I know. Who cares? Once that womb is full it relieves the mother of any responsibility she may have had to others. Surely this irresponsible loophole was the objective of all the struggle and fight for the creation of Title IX.

With all the so-called feminist furor against the military's proposed decision it makes me think that one of the goals of feminism was to allow women to be free from all responsibility and obligation just because we can get pregnant. And if it was, I don't want any part of that.

Ladies, is being cheated on a reason to disregard one's own dignity and sacrifice one's own integrity? No? Then why does it seem too many of us react as if it is? Yesterday morning on my local news a story ran of a wife who burned down her marital residence because she discovered her husband was cheating. As she sat during her interview crying and dressed in the always stylish jailhouse garb, she claimed she was only guilty of loving her husband and being heartbroken and abused, etc. In my frustration and disgust I sat wondering were her tearful admissions acceptable to the owners of the two neighboring residences that also burned down?

Attaching your self-worth to the romantic loyalties of a man is a phenomenal mistake and just-stupid. Even the best and most famous fairy-tale authors, who are men by the way, could not have possibly had such a ridiculous notion in mind as they penned those classic enduring pieces of fiction.

As in life in general, upon entering and during a relationship, fearlessly concern yourself with preserving your good character by steadfastly honoring the word you gave and the commitment you made. Then if and when that likely time comes when you discover he was not doing the same you can find peace in the pride of knowing you did your part. Take all the hurt, anger, dejection and whatever negative else and wrap your self-respect around it then your conclusion of what to do next might be just a simple, "Well, I think we're done here."

Recently I read yet another tragic tale of a so-called woman making the idiotic decision to leave her child in the care of her boyfriend who in turn shook the child to her eventual death.  The report didn’t get into details of the circumstances of this so-called couple but let me just make a few assumptions based on similar sickening reports.  I’m going to assume that the place of residence was the mother’s and she chose to move some male in who apparently didn’t have his own place.  Next, since he was living there and apparently doesn’t have a job like his girlfriend she felt he would be willing to contribute to the household by babysitting.  A man she probably doesn’t really know and a man who really is just glad to have a place to put his things and lay his head.  But it’s okay.  Surely he told her that he loved her and her child like she was his own.  Umm hmm …

I try to refrain from telling people how I think they should live but I’m about to.  When you decide to be a single mother you are assuming the major if not all the responsibility of being nurturer and protector of your child.  When you have children, period, life is not just about you anymore and what you want to do.  It’s about doing everything you can to provide a safe nurturing environment for your child.  Moving some dude in your house is exactly the wrong path to take. 

In circumstances like these a woman should ask herself, “Why doesn’t he have a job and his own place?” And whatever the excuses this grown man is not your responsibility.  Your child is.  Yeah I can see the need to go and have a few jollies with cats like these every now and again but you come home without him. 

I know these ideals of love that get beat into our heads from our infancy lead us to think that the pursuit and acquisition of true love is the end all be all of our existence.  But it isn’t especially when you have a child to nurture and protect.   I also know that the concept of loneliness is presented as a fate worse than having your soul condemned to hell.  But it isn’t especially when you have a child to nurture and protect.

"One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade."   – Chinese proverb

Some days ago Yahoo posed the question of whether there is a double standard between teen males and females being exposed in a sexual way in Hollywood. This query sparked from the lack of any apparent uproar over a young male werewolf, who is only seventeen, in the new upcoming Twilight film strutting around without a shirt. Yahoo compared this to the uproar over a fifteen-year-old Miley Cyrus wrapped in only a bedsheet. The author seemed to believe that the lack of uproar over the shirtless teen wolf was because he is a male. In my opinion the issue should be viewed from another angle.

The double standard is when teen girls are allowed to express their sexuality it is mostly done in poor taste, whether intentional or not, like the Miley Cyrus incident. A young teen male merely walking around without a shirt is a non-event no matter the level of physical perfection~to me. Maybe if I were his age I would swoon but as a grown-ass woman this boyish teen wolf's shirtless strut evokes no emotion unlike the disgust and fury triggered after seeing a young teen girl posing as if she is enjoying some sweet afterglow.  

In this issue the double standard should be that preferential care be taken into the presentation of teen females as sexual beings because at that inexperienced age once many of them discover the power of female sexuality they fall into the trap of rooting themselves in it which usually yields disastrous results for the female teen stars and for one too many of their devoted fans.